I have been reflecting lately on which story I should share with you first. While watching a series recently, I heard a line that stopped me in my tracks:
“No one can get past the romance stigma. And that kind of snobbery is just sexism in a tweed jacket. Men decide romance is silly, and women feel embarrassed about reading it.”
There is a profound truth in those words. Many of us, once we reach a certain age, begin to ignore romance novels or even deny our interest in them. Perhaps we feel they are “too light” for the heavy invisible threads of patterns we carry—the inheritance of those who came before us.
I recently watched the film adaptation of ‘It Ends With Us’ (and revisited the beautiful, painful pages of Colleen Hoover’s story), and it left me breathless. It wasn’t just the plot; it was the mirror it held up to the cycles we promise ourselves we will never repeat.
The Patterns We Inherit
We often tell ourselves: “I will never be like my mother” or “I will never allow a man to treat me that way.” Yet, as Lily Bloom’s story reminds us, the path back to those old patterns is often paved with “just this once” and ignored red flags.
For many of us navigating the way back to the feminine, we have spent years immersed in our “masculine” energy—deciding everything, carrying all the responsibilities, and being the ones to blame because “we were the ones who said so.” We have become so accustomed to being the “strong one” that we forget how to recognise the signs when our boundaries are being crossed.
The Magnificence of the “Stop”
What I found truly magnificent about this story—especially seeing it brought to life on screen—is the realisation that strength is not about how much you can endure.
Being feminine does not mean being weak or absent from decisions; it means having the clarity to carry only what belongs to us. It means understanding that a partner who truly loves you is the one who wants to open the door, carry the heavy bags, and bring you a cup of tea when you are unwell—not the one who adds to your burden.
Why You Should Read (or Watch) It
- To Recognise the Signs: It teaches us not to look away when something feels “off” in the name of love.
- To Break the Cycle: It empowers us to say: “This ends with me.” It doesn’t matter how many generations of women before us accepted less; we do not have to.
- To Reclaim Your Peace: It is a reminder that choosing yourself is the highest form of self-care.
A Ritual for Your Reading
I invite you to read this book (or watch the film) as a ritual of self-reflection. Light a scented candle from estudio cafuné, pour yourself a warm cup of tea, and allow yourself to feel.
We are at an age where we no longer need to settle for “good enough” or carry the guilt of others’ choices. Let’s learn to let go of the heavy burdens—both literal and emotional.
Have you ever caught yourself falling into a pattern you promised to break? Let’s talk in the comments below. Let’s have a heart-to-heart.
Stay radiant. Stay true to you. 🌹
Eu assisti este filme, e me vi em várias cenas….
Hoje consigo entender que eu mesma arrumava desculpas para aceitar aquela situação